First off: Hello. My name is Jenn, & I am a book addict. :)  In my opinion, there is nothing that compares to pulling a book out, opening the crisp pages, and diving right in. A new book is heaven to me. The smell of the ink & paper, the pages that have never been touched by anyone but you, the crackle of the spine as you open it for the first time...that is my crack cocaine!! Equally as lovely, is the feel of a worn favorite in your hand. The pages, sometimes wrinkled, sometimes stained with the odd bit of chocolate or whatever you were munching on as you read. It will truly be a sad day when books are completely replaced by electronic gadgets like the Kindle. There's something about holding a book that a device will never replace. Unfortunately, I don't have as much time to read as I would like, but when I can sneak a book, especially one that touches me in some way, it's a treat beyond compare. Such a treat was found this week, in a sweet children's book called "Mr. Stink". I am not one who turns my nose up at children's literature. There are times where it is beyond any adult writer could hope for, such as in the cases of Shel Silverstein, J. K. Rowling, Maurice Sendak, & the amazing Roald Dahl. Don't get me wrong, David Walliams, while a brilliant comic, is not quite on the same level as these writers. However, should Mr. Walliams decide to make a new career out of novel writing, it would not be time misspent.

The story is a simple one. Mr. Stink is the town homeless man, who just happens to smell. Not only does he smell, he stinks! No one in town pays any attention to Mr. Stink, except for one girl named Chloe Crumb (pronounced "Croombe" by her politician mother). Chloe is a lonely type girl, & decides to be nice to Mr. Stink, as she has imagined amazing adventures that Mr. Stink has had in his life. Chloe's mum hasn't paid much attention to her, preferring to lavish all her affections on Chloe's younger sister Annabelle. The story is a sweet one about the time old moral of not judging a person by their outside, but what is within. Chloe finds out that she's not what she thinks she is, finds out that Mr. Stink is not who anyone thinks he is, & finds that her family feels differently about her than she believes.

I think that I related to this story, because of my own childhood. I was alot like Chloe, in the way that kids at school used to pick on me, they way they did her. At one point in the book, one of the "popular" girls places a "Loser" sign on Chloe's back without her knowlege. I had the exact same experience, & when I read it, I felt the same humiliation & anger that Chloe felt in the book. I get the feeling that David Walliams must have had the same experience as well, because it's hard to write that type of emotion, if you'd never had it. I also felt like I didn't really belong in my family as a child, like Chloe. I grew up with four younger siblings & always felt pushed to the side in favor of one of them, especially my younger brothers. Of course, now that I'm older & can look back on it, I realize that wasn't true. Unfortunately I didn't have a Mr. Stink to help me see the potential in myself, but it was great to see Chloe have one.

For those of us in the states, "Mr. Stink" isn't easily found. I had to get mine off of amazon.co.uk, as I did with David's first book "The Boy In The Dress" (also well worth checking out!). This is a shame, because I think these books would do great in the US, because there wouldn't be the perception of the famous comedian attached to David Walliams, that there is in the UK. People would be able to see the books for what they are, & not as just a sideline for an actor. If you are fortunate enough to get your hands on both of Mr. Walliams' books, you won't be sorry. 

Okay, I know I don't post alot & what I'm going to post about tonight is probably a little controversial. But I figure only three people read this anyway, so how bad can it be? ;)

The other day, I read an article about a woman who had written a book. I was absolutely shocked at the comments made by people on the story! The book was about how she & her husband decided to remain childless; how she felt their lives & her marriage was better for it. The amount of spiteful & cruel comments made by people about this decision just floored me! The comments were mainly about how selfish & lazy this couple were, & how could they possibly think they had a fulfilling life without a child in it? One person commented that the couple were just rationalizing their own selfish behavior & that when they got old,  needing someone to take care of them, they'd be sorry they hadn't had children. Others went on & on about how fulfilling it is to have a child & that they were sorry the couple was too lazy to experience that. 

I think the main reason I was upset by the comments was because I don't have children myself, & don't feel unfulfilled. Yet, I don't consider myself selfish or lazy. If I had children, they would be spending more time in day care, than with me & I refuse to raise my children that way. Yet putting kids in day care or with a nanny, wasn't considered selfish at all. I realize that there are people who have no choice, including all of my siblings, & have to go to work to support their families. But is it really selfish & lazy of people who don't have children, or is it just a subliminal jealousy of those who have children, that they can no longer enjoy the same freedom they had without them? I don't doubt for a second that they wouldn't trade any of their children for a chance to go back to before they had them. At the same time though, I wonder if they don't see that they've lost some of those freedoms & are envious? I for one, am glad that if I decide to follow Josh Groban for the weekend, I can just pick up & go, without spending hours on the phone arranging for someone to watch my kids so I can.

Then as I was re-reading the article & comments, I began to feel a little resentment building. If there's anyone who should be upset, I think that it is people who are childless. We help families pay for schools we never use. We don't get $2,500 tax credits per kid, just for having kids. We can't call in & say "Sorry, you have to cover for me today. My kid is sick/has a school event/is on school break", & expect people to pick up our slack with no problem, just because we have kids. We don't go to movies/theaters/resturants & spend money, just to listen to your kids scream/cry/kick our seats, so you can yell at us when we complain. I can't tell you how many times I've had panicked mothers come up to me at work, because they've lost track of their kid, while they walked away from them. Or that their kid fell out of the shopping cart while they "just stepped away for a moment!" I had a mother one day, yell at ME because her kid fell into a rack of clothes & started bleeding. She was nowhere to be found when it happened & was upset I hadn't watched her child.

Okay, before you start thinking that I hate children, I don't. I'd very much love to have some, as soon as either Josh Groban or David Walliams wise up & marry me. ;) Unfortunately, I don't see that happening in the real world any time soon, & until I do have some of my own, I'm happy with my nephews & neices. Do I feel like I'm selfish? No. Like I said, I couldn't do it as a single parent, because I don't think it's fair or good for children to be in day care all day. I don't knock people who have to do it, because I know if they could, they'd stay home with their kids. Do I feel like I have an unfulfilling life? Not even. I think when I do have kids, it will just add to my life, not complete it. I'd hate to think that my life was complete after adding a kid.......life should only be complete when you're standing in front of whatever god you believe in.

Wow...I'm really bad at this!! Either that, or my life is just so boring, it's not worth posting about!! :)

I wanted to touch on the day for just a moment. September 11th was such a massive day in so many people's lives, I couldn't let it pass without saying something. I know there is always someone saying "I remember exactly where I was when_______happened". Consider this mine.

The day started out just like any other.....got up for work--late as usual! As I was getting dressed, I turned on the tv, to see what the weather was going to be like that day. It took me a moment to realize that it wasn't the regular local news, but the network news. They were focused on a burning building in New York, and were reporting that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I slowly finished dressing, as I watched the people pouring out of the buildings & the smoke rising. As the cameras rolled on the building, another plane flew straight at the other tower, not even trying to avoid it. I sat back on my bed in stunned silence, mouth hanging open, as I watched the madness that unfolded in front of my eyes. I remember thinking in the back of my head, that if I was that horrified, I couldn't even begin to comprehend the terror the people in the buildings were going through. I watched as papers, debris, & even humans, come tumbling out of the towers. I knew I had to get to work, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the television. When I got in the car, I turned on the radio to the news station to hear coverage on my way to work. I don't really remember hearing the news, as I was still stunned by what I'd seen on tv. When I got to work, we were having our morning meeting at the front of the store. I told someone as I came in "Someone just flew two planes into the World Trade Center in New York". No one really paid attention to me, until all the tv's in the store tuned into the coverage. It was then I learned that a plane had hit the Pentagon. I had spent 6 years of my life in the D.C. area, & was stunned that something had hit into a building that was closer to people I knew. I was working in the automotive department at the time, and when I got back to my department, we turned all the radios onto the news, & learned that the towers had collapsed. We spent the rest of the day huddled around the radios & tv's. I don't remember much work getting done that day, and I don't remember alot of customers in the store. But I remember the feeling of  helplessness as more & more details came out. Feelings of sheer horror, watching the replays of the planes & then the towers falling. Being dumbstruck by the coverage of the Pentagon & United 93 in Pennsylvania. The feeling that the world was coming down around us, and thinking that I would never be able to fly in a plane again. The absolute sadness I felt for everyone who had a loved one lost that day, and giving thanks that my family & loved ones were safe as we could be.  

A few years later, I had the opportunity to go to the site of the World Trade Center. As I looked out onto the vast hole in the ground, memories of that day came flooding back. It was so overwhelming to see the actual location, as well as a little bit humbling. While I stood behind the glass, I felt sadness at the enormity of the tragedy & sad that our country was no longer as united as we were for the first few months after the tragedy. 

I don't want to turn this into a tirade about terrorists & government & politics, because that's not what the day is about. The day is about remembering those people, who started their day just like I did, but ended up losing their lives through no fault of their own. It's about the heroes, who risked their lives to save someone else, without worrying about that person's race, religion, background, or anything other than they were another human who needed help.  I will keep a silent prayer of remembrance & thanks in my heart today for them.

So I would be remiss if I didn't make a comment, along with everyone else, on the loss of three icons this week. I've always heard of things happening in threes, but this is a little crazy! I just thought that I could share a few memories and things that I had on these people who have touched so many lives, including my own.

I was sorry to hear about Ed McMahon. Most people know him best from "The Tonight Show", but I think that most people my age & younger remember him more for "Star Search" & the Clearinghouse commercials. How many times have we joked about him showing up on our doorstep with a million dollar check? I know he hadn't been in the best of health recently, but it was still sad to have to see him go.

Farrah Fawcett was an amazing actress. It would have been so easy to write her off as a dumb blonde, but I was always impressed with everything I saw her in. When I was little, we were all "Charlie's Angel's" fans. My friends & I always argued over who got to be Jill, & I usually lost based on the point "but you can't be Jill, because you don't have blonde hair!" I remember seeing "The Burning Bed" & thinking how amazing she was in it. I really believed that she was a battered woman. Another role I was impressed with her was as Diane Downs in "Small Sacrifices" I was truly horrified by the book....I mean, a woman who brutally murders one of her children & wounds the others? How do you find any sympathy for that? But by the end of her performance, I felt so sorry for this woman & her life. She brought that personality to it. Also, how do you forget that smile? I always had to smile when I saw a picture of her, because it was such a fabulous smile. I hope where she is, she is smiling that smile.

I'm still a little stunned over Michael Jackson. You just think that Michael Jackson was going to be like Cher....around no matter what. I was always a fan of his, probably not as rabid as some people, but a fan. Even if he did something I didn't particularly care for, I was still impressed with the talent behind it. I still think that it was only a genius that could have come up with "Thriller"!!! That was probably the best album that has been released in the last 50 years. It was so imaginative & brilliant, no wonder no one has been able to touch it. I remember staying up until midnight to see the video. We didn't have MTV, because my mom refused to pay for cable, so we had to make do with "Friday Night Videos", which didn't come on until around 11:30. They had dedicated the whole show to this video & I remember watching the "Making Of..." as well. To this day, I still don't have words to describe how I felt after seeing it. All I knew was that I'd seen something that was truly unique & would probably never be done again. Unfortunately I think that too many people are going to remember him for his oddities & accusations, than for his amazing gifts. It's a shame that should be his legacy, instead of the amazing musician he was. I think I'll prefer to remember him as the legend he should have been, not the circus act he became.

I only hope that these people have found the peace & freedom from pain, that they had in this life. My own personal beliefs make me think that they are in an amazing place, with all their loved ones who have passed before them. While it's sad that they are gone, it's nice to know that there are enough reminders of them still left here for us.

I know I'm really bad about keeping this thing updated! But honestly, not a whole lot has been going on with me, that is really worth talking about. However, I do have something I'd like to share with the online world......or at least the few people who check this out! My dad's best friend started a charity a couple of years ago. They were living in Germany & met a girl who was a nanny to one of their neighbors. They found out that she was sending all of her money home to her family & was buying things for people in her village as well. They were so impressed with what she was doing, they decided to expand & help her. They started an organization called "In Our Own Quiet Way" & it's a real great thing. It's based out of here in Utah, but it can use help from everywhere. So go & check out their website & see all the great things they've done. www.inourownquietway.org

Oh for me, this is one of the hardest questions!!! That's like trying to pick my favorite kid! I don't know that I could recommend just one, because I have so many. I guess if I had to pick just one book, it'd probably be "Tom Sawyer". I've always loved that book & everytime I read it, I flash back to being 5 years old & listening to my dad read it to us at night. He had this book that was HUGE, & it had "Tom Sawyer", "Huckleberry Finn", "A Conneticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court" & other Mark Twain stories. He read them all to us, & that's one of my favorite childhood memories. I still have that book somewhere.....not sure where!! I still think that it's one of the greatest stories.

So I'm flipping through channels tonight on television, & I swear it's 80's night!! I came across two of my favorite movies, "All of Me" starring Steve Martin & Lily Tomlin, and then "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" with Sarah Jessica Parker & Helen Hunt. I don't know why I loved them so much, because if you really sit & watch them, they are kind of corny, especially "Girls". Maybe that's what makes them so fun to watch....that they're so corny they're entertaining? I've been thinking about some more of my favorite movies from the 80's, like "Sixteen Candles", "The Breakfast Club", & "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" & wondering if any of them would have actually been made nowdays. I highly doubt it, unless there was sex, violence, & special effects out the wazoo. Have we really become such a society, that we can only be entertained by effects & violence, instead of an amazing story? What's next? Are we going to go back to the times of Romans & watching people be thrown to the lions? 


On another topic, I was playing around on my other home tonite, Facebook, & came across an interesting question. It was who were five celebrities that you would want to meet if they weren't dead. It took me a minute, but I came up with the following five: Walt Disney, Princess Diana, Jim Henson, Gene Kelly, & Dr. Seuss. I think it would be so fascinating to sit & talk with Disney, Jim Henson, & Dr. Seuss, because they're all childhood heroes of mine. Dr. Seuss was one of the first authors I read, & still one of my favorites. I can't make it through the holiday season without "The Grinch" & I love "The Lorax" ("My name is the Lorax & I speak for the trees!") He completely changed the way children learned to read & I know when I have children, they will be well schooled in Seuss!!! Both Disney & Henson changed the way we were entertained as children as well. I always have a special affinity for "Sesame Street", because we're the same age, but I have always adored the Muppets, & pretty much everything Henson did. Anyone who knows me, knows that my affection for Disney is huge. It's hard to believe there was ever a time that Disney movies & places like Disneyland & DisneyWorld didn't exist.  I would like to meet Princess Diana, because I always admired her when she was alive. I remember getting up early in the morning to watch her wedding. I wouldn't get up in the morning for anything, but there I was, sitting in front of the tv, thinking that she was better than any princess Disney could dream up, in her carriage. I gasped in awe as that amazing train just kept coming & coming out of that coach, & swore that when I got married, I would have a dress just like hers. She was only a few years older than myself, & it kind of felt like we grew up together over the years. Now, I think you'd probably have to shoot me to get into a dress like hers, but still......;)  I've also always admired Gene Kelly. He always made dancing look so effortless. I was so excited when I was able to take dance lessons when I was a kid, but was frustrated because I didn't get to tap around like he did. Every time I watch one of his movies, I still find myself catching my breath a little as I watch him move across that screen. How wonderful to be so talented!

Until I figure out what I'm going to write, I'm just going to play off of these writer's blocks! Hmmm.....could I go on a silent retreat? I guess it depends on what I'm doing. If I went on a retreat by myself, I could pretty much go the whole time without talking...unless I was watching movies or tv! Then I usually will talk to the screen, telling the characters how stupid they are! ;)  I pretty much keep to myself, so I don't think I would have too hard of a time going without talking. It'd be pretty boring though....... 

Wow, my first post & I pick a kind of depressing one!! I think the one that has really made me angry is the one about Sandra Cantu. Actually all stories about bad things happening to kids, make me angry. I just have the hardest time wrapping my head around what makes a person snap like that. I've studied different criminal behaviors in school, but I still don't understand what goes off in someone's head that  justifies it to themselves. It's horrible when a crime is committed against another adult, but when it's against a child, who is basically an innocent, I just don't get it. I'd hate to be on the jury when this lady comes to trial.